Pimpology: The 48 Laws of the Game

by Pimpin' Ken, Karen Hunter (With)

Overview

Star of the HBO documentaries Pimps Up, Ho's Down and American Pimp, Annual Players' Ball "Mack of the Year" winner Ken Ivy reveals the unwritten rules that took him from the ghetto streets to the executive suites.

The names change, but the game remains the same. In Pimpology, Ken Ivy pulls a square's coat on the unwritten rules that took him from the ghetto streets to the executive suites. Ken's lessons will serve any person in any interaction: Whether at work, in relationships, or among friends, somebody's got to be on top. To be the one with the upper hand, you've got to have good game, and good game starts with knowing the rules.

If you want the money, power, and respect you dream of, you can't just "pimp your ride," you need to pimp your whole life. And unless you've seen Ray Charles leading Stevie Wonder somewhere, you need Ken's guidelines to do it. They'll reach out and touch you like AT&T and bring good things to life like GE. Then you can be the boss with the hot sauce who gets it all like Monty Hall.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781416961048
Publisher:	Gallery Books
Publication date:	08/05/2008
Pages:	192
Product dimensions:	5.40(w) x 8.20(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Born in Chicago in 1964, Ken Ivy was 16 years old when he had the life: money, women, cars, clothes, and notoriety in the streets of Milwaukee and Chicago. He was awarded the coveted "Mack of the Year" title at the annual Player's Ball. Before long, Ivy was approached by HBO to be a consultant on an upcoming project, the now infamous Pimps Up, Ho's Down. Since then, Ken has become a celebrity in his own right—you can hear him on Jermaine Dupri's "Instructions," 2Short's "Chase the Cat," Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz's "Kings of Crunk," Lil Flip's "Still Ballin," Mack 10's "Da Hood," and he stars in the video for 50 Cent's "P.I.M.P." He has been written about in The Source, Vibe, F.E.D.S., and on Salon.com.

Karen Hunter is a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist, a celebrated radio talk-show host, and coauthor of numerous New York Times bestsellers, including Confessions of a Video Vixen, On the Down Low, and Wendy’s Got the Heat. She is also an assistant professor in the Film & Media Department at Hunter College.

Read an Excerpt

Law 1: Purse First, Ass Last

If a pimp is going to take a chance, a bitch must give him money in advance.

— Father Divine

The Life

A pimp associate of mine, Little Bear, came from a distinguished line of pimps. His daddy was one of the biggest pimps in Milwaukee when I was growing up. Pimpin' was in Little Bear, not on him. Years ago, Little Bear was running an after-hours joint. Many pimps had these little clubs back in the day as a way of catching hoes. A bunch of us were in his joint when one of the finest hoes I ever saw walked in. She had a body like an hourglass. She was so fine her mama should have had triplets. She was just a gorgeous ho. The scene was live, but when this ho walked in, the place stopped.

Sammy, a half-ass pimp who was sitting in the corner blurted out, "That bitch so fine, she don't need no choosing fee to fuck with my pimpin'!"

Out of nowhere Little Bear jumped up and said, "Bitch, break yourself!"

She walks up to Little Bear and asks, "Mr. Bear, what can you do with this money that I can't do with it myself? If you can answer that, I will break myself."

"Bitch, I'm the pimp and you're the ho," he said. "So act like the quarterback and pass the motherfucking bankroll."

She smiled and gave him the trap money. Little Bear then turned to me. "That's a fine-ass bitch," he said. "As soon as she makes me twenty Gs, I'm going to have some buck-naked fun with her." Then he posed the same question he'd been asked to me. "Pimpin', what could you do with that money?"

I stood up, because I was about to perform, and I wanted everyone to hear. "For the record," I started, "I mean to say, for the album — because the record is too short — if any of you suckers want to know what a pimp can do with that money that a bitch can't, go to the motherfucking hardware store, get you some duct tape, tape that money on the wall, and piss on it. That's what a pimp can do that a bitch can't!"

The Ism

"Purse first, ass last" is the motto of pimpin', the very foundation on which pimpin' is built. What separates a pimp from a trick is that a pimp completely flips the game. A trick pays a ho for the pussy, but a ho doesn't get to fuck a pimp until she pays him. A ho has got to put it in a pimp's pocket like a rocket before pimpin' can begin. It's not about a pimp breaking a ho, it's about a ho breaking herself. Violating this first law will guarantee a pimp a career of troubles and stress. If a woman can try you before she buy you, then, as B.B. King says, "The thrill is gone."

In life what is expensive seems valuable, and what's available for free seems worthless. You've heard that no one buys the cow when the milk is free, but what they didn't tell you is that after a while, no one even wants that free milk. To be valued, the key is not to give, but to receive — the more, the better. You don't want to "earn" your price, you want to "cost" it. This is the psychology behind the whole game: anything worth having, you must pay for up front.

Copyright © 2007 by Ken Ivy

Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction Pimps Are Born, Not Sworn

Law 1 Purse First, Ass Last

Law 2 Get a Name in a Game

Law 3 Don't Chase 'Em, Replace 'Em

Law 4 Keep a Ho in Arrears

Law 5 Prey on the Weak

Law 6 When Pimpin' Begins, Friendship Ends

Law 7 Pimp the Game

Law 8 Don't Let Your History Be a Mystery

Law 9 Learn the Rules

Law 10 Plan Your Work and Work Your Plan

Law 11 Avoid Gorillas and Godzillas

Law 12 Ain't No Love in This Shit

Law 13 Pimp Like You're Ho-less

Law 14 Better a Turnout Than a Burnout

Law 15 Say What You Mean and Mean What You Say

Law 16 Give Motivation and Inspiration

Law 17 Get You a Bottom Bitch

Law 18 Cop and Blow

Law 19 Turn Ho Ends into Dividends

Law 20 Get In a Ho's Head

Law 21 A Ho Without Instruction Is Headed for Self-Destruction

Law 22 Keep Hoes on Their Toes

Law 23 A Ho Joins a Stable to Ruin It

Law 24 Set the Trend

Law 25 Grind for Your Shine

Law 26 The Game Is to Be Sold, Not Told

Law 27 Keep Your Game on the Low

Law 28 Be a Leader

Law 29 Play One Ho Against the Next

Law 30 Prosperity over Popularity

Law 31 Look Out for Suzy Choosy

Law 32 Turn a Tramp into a Champ

Law 33 Bring Your People with You to the Top

Law 34 Show Respect to Get Respect

Law 35 Trust Nothing but the Game

Law 36 Be Internationally Known, Nationally Recognized, and Locally Accepted

Law 37 Let a Ho Know

Law 38 Wreck a Hater

Law 39 Switch Up

Law 40 Don't Down 'Em, Crown 'Em

Law 41 Keep Your Front Up Till You Come Up

Law 42 If You Can See It, You Can Be It

Law 43 Talk Shit and Swallow Spit

Law 44 You Need Fire and Desire

Law 45 Get Rid of the Word "If"

Law 46 Move and Shake Like a Pimp Shakes

Law 47 Pimpin' Is What You Do, Not Who You Are

Law 48 Don't Believe the Hype

Pimptionary

Acknowledgments