My fellow Americans,
President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."
We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way.
That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in MY HEAD.
You're welcome in advance.
My fellow Americans,
President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country."
We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way.
That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in MY HEAD.
You're welcome in advance.
| ISBN-13: | 9780062378385 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | HarperCollins Publishers |
| Publication date: | 01/20/2015 |
| Edition description: | Low Price CD |
| Product dimensions: | 5.20(w) x 5.80(h) x 0.90(d) |
I think many of us (long-suffering waitresses aside) will agree that dads can be pretty funny. And that humor, for better or for worse, is definitely absorbed by their young, impressionable kids. My own father has always appreciated a good pun, and at this point pun-lore is so ingrained in me that when the opportunity […]
