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    Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

    Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

    by Elisa Medhus M.D.


    eBook

    $15.99
    $15.99

    Customer Reviews

      ISBN-13: 9781451633320
    • Publisher: Atria Books/Beyond Words
    • Publication date: 02/22/2011
    • Sold by: SIMON & SCHUSTER
    • Format: eBook
    • Pages: 304
    • Sales rank: 337,265
    • File size: 2 MB

    Elisa Medhus, MD, is a physician and mother of five who has practiced internal medicine for over thirty years. She is the author of three award-winning parenting books, including Raising Children Who Think for Themselves and Hearing Is Believing, and has lectured on parenting for schools, parent groups, and corporations. After the death of her twenty-year-old son Erik, Dr. Medhus began journaling her grief in her blog ChannelingErik.com and wrote the successful book My Son and the Afterlife. She lives in Houston, Texas.

    Table of Contents

    Dedicationix
    Acknowledgmentsxi
    The Basics
    Introduction3
    What This Book Is About3
    The Five Essential Qualities of Self-Directed Children6
    Understanding Internal vs. External Direction11
    The Game Plan
    Seven Strategies for Raising
    Self-Directed Children
    1Creating the Proper Family Environment19
    Eliminating Elements That Foster External Direction19
    A Word about Sibling Influences44
    The Importance of a Family Identity48
    2Helping Children Develop Healthy Internal Dialogue51
    Eight Techniques to Encourage Introspection51
    Derailing Unhealthy Internal Dialogue66
    Helping Them Confront Their Unhealthy Internal Dialogue66
    Helping Them Rebound from the Effects of Facing the Truth68
    Helping Them Find Solutions through Honest, Healthy Internal Dialogue69
    Modeling Our Own Inner Honesty for Our Children69
    3Helping Children Develop Natural Intuition71
    Modeling the Use of Our Own Intuitive Powers72
    Encouraging Them to Follow Their Own Hunches72
    Teaching Children How to Strengthen Their Intuitive Powers72
    Playing Intuition Games74
    Keeping an Intuition Journal74
    Teaching Children How to Receive Intuitive Signals More Clearly74
    4Teaching Children Empathy77
    Teaching Children How "Benevolent Selfishness" Works79
    Helping Children Understand Others by Using the "Empathy Triad"79
    Helping Children Develop Empathy through Service81
    Helping Children Use Internal Dialogue to Develop Empathy82
    Helping Children Develop Empathy through Role Play84
    Using "I Messages" to Teach Children Empathy85
    Modeling Empathy86
    Teaching Children Empathy by Not Criticizing the Unfortunate87
    5Disciplining to Promote Internal Direction89
    What It Means to Discipline in a Way That Promotes Internal Direction89
    The Twelve Basic Requirements of Self-Directed Discipline91
    Eight Discipline Techniques That Encourage Self-Direction107
    6Helping Children Rebound from Failure121
    Discussing Our Own Mistakes with Our Children123
    Not Denying Opportunities to Excel As a Consequence for Misbehavior123
    Sharing Lessons We've Learned from Our Own Mistakes124
    Teaching the Value of Failed Attempts124
    Teaching Children to Strive for Personal Excellence, Not Perfection125
    Using Mistake Contests126
    Downplaying Past Failures126
    Teaching "Failure Tolerance" by Not Over-reacting to Mistakes127
    Encouraging Mistakes128
    Encouraging Independence128
    Teaching How to Separate Failures from Self-Worth129
    Accepting Suffering As a Good Thing130
    7Helping Children Handle Real-World Influences133
    Drugs and Alcohol134
    Violence among Children137
    Modern Technology139
    The Hurried Life142
    Consumerism vs. Simplicity145
    Sexuality147
    Body Image and the Perception of Beauty151
    The Winner-Loser Mentality and Competition154
    Conclusion157
    Specific Child-Rearing Challenges159
    Level System for Teenagers275
    Resources277
    Index283

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    Raising Children Who Think for Themselves offers a new approach to parenting that has the power to reverse the trend of external direction in our children and help parents bring up empathetic, self-confident, moral, independent thinkers. Children who are externally directed make decisions based on the peer groups, violent movies, sexually explicit television shows, and rap lyrics that permeate their lives. When children are self-directed, on the other hand, they use their power of reason like a sword to cut through the jungle of external influences. Fortunately, the author shows us, it is never too late to foster in our children the ability to weigh options, consider sources, and think for themselves.

    Filled with real-life examples, humorous anecdotes, and countless interviews with parents, children, and teachers, Raising Children Who Think for Themselves

    • Identifies the five essential qualities of self-directed children
    • Outlines the seven strategies necessary for parents to develop these qualities in their children
    • Addresses nearly one hundred child-raising challenges—from body piercing to whining wars—and offers solutions to help encourage self-direction

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    Raising Children Who Think For Themselves provides parents with a new approach to directing children, covering the methods which foster independent thinking. Chapters point out differences between children who are externally directed to make decisions and those who are self-directed and use reasoning powers, providing plenty of examples on how parents can foster the latter.
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